I sleep 6 hours and eyes automatically open, now days. It used to be 8 hours. A sign of aging...Today for instance, I slept at 7:30 pm so I woke up at 1:30 am. What do you do at hour? I write.

It's quiet, it's a time for reflection. I can think without hindrances and anxiety which usually comes before you really wake up in the morning.

The first thing I do when I wake up is rinsing my mouth and drinking a cup of water room temperature. Then, a cigarette. Time takes a cigarette. . . David Bowie, Rock &Roll Suicide. It's a moment of nostalgic coolness that has become an addiction.

I learned how to smoke when I was 14 in Korea where I went to get a treatment for acne flaring up on my upper body. My father at that time knew a woman whose husband was a doctor, or something.

My parents were divorced in the early 60's causing a big scandal in their time.

I guess they were in touch in the 70's because my mother was in charge of her 3 sons from the 70's immigrating to America for better education for her sons. She was a rich woman who should have been a man. She was a singular woman. My mother was a bucket of full of stories. I will dive into that bucket later. I don’t know how the story went from my mother to father.

My cousin, my father's youngest sister's son was Kim Hyun Sik, famous Korean singer who died too early and revered for that every November, the month he had died.

He came to pick me up where I was staying at the time in Korea. We hadn't seen each other in years. But he was familiar because we grew up together when we were really young, me before 10.

Korea was just beginning to sprout in the 70's and my cousin was debuting in the show business circuit. He was only 18 but pretended that he was 21 singing in underground clubs that he took me to.

Looking back, I think that he thought I was interesting because I came from America, the ultimate heaven that the Koreans only imagined in their heads to be in. My mother was rich and smart enough to know the people who can make those kinds of things move at that time.

I was just beginning to be a teenager experiencing things and looking at things and observing things for the first time. True Virgin at 14.

I lived in his house with all of his family, my aunt and uncle and his sister. My one and only "Nuna".

She taught me how to find out if a woman is good in bed by how their hips move when they walked. That influenced my thinking finding my wife. She also was instrumental in my first sexual experience.

Things you learn early on in your life lasts all your life. Precious moments.

The whole family smoked so there were cigarettes everywhere. It was so natural to smoke around the house. One night, I took one cigarette and went to the roof of the house. I vaguely remember photographically, it's like an out of focus picture that has a meaning to be out of focus.

I took a match and lit the cigarette and dragged on it to see if I can swallow the smoke because I've already observed how to smoke by watching the family. It went down smoothly surprising me.

For the first time, I found out what cigarette tasted like. That first taste lasted for over 50 years. I quit for few years before my art school experiences. At the school, they sold the cigarettes by one instead of a pack. And the art school was a new challenge for me being the only Asian, a rich Asian going to an art school in a BMW 320i, the hottest import in the early 80's.

So, I got hooked by nose. Then, I quit couple of years ago when I was diagnosed with cerebral infarction. The doctor who diagnosed me was more interested in my photography than my condition. That's how I knew my condition wasn’t a serious one.

I was hooked again when my golfing friends had a party. I wasn't intaking alcohol either, but they convinced to take one shot. Of course, one shot is all it takes to get things going again. Then, they said it's okay to take a puff once in a while. One puff, I am hooked by the nose, once again.

Cigarettes are like a buddy you known all your life. You know them so well that you have arguments and fights with them but eventually you kiss and make up.

It's a habit and a lawful addiction. They allow it, but just make it more expensive, they being the controlling ones.

Alcohol and cigarettes, legal harmful drugs that are approved to be consumed. Because it makes too much money while it kills gradually. Problems that arise is that consuming these drugs takes long time. Therefore, the people don't care. It's the pleasure they give is what is addicting. We really don't think about the consequences. C'est la vie.