Morning—my eyes open. I am disoriented. There are times I wonder where I am, and then it's, "Oh! What did I need to do? Ah! I forgot about this!" "Ah, shit!"

I have never once in my entire life felt happy the moment I wake up. The thought, "Is my death still a long way off?" is the first thing that flashes through my mind. Why do I have so many thoughts~~! Since the time I have already lived is vastly longer than the time I have left, death is naturally stalking me from a much closer proximity, yet it seems I still have plenty of time. Seeing myself still alive and struggling through it all, it seems my time to die is still far away.

Coffee.

I boil water. I fold the filter, place it in the dripper, put three scoops of coffee into the grinder, and press the switch. With the sound of the grinding, my mind slowly falls back into place. The water boiler makes a clicking sound. It has surpassed 100 degrees. I pour the water into a copper kettle. Looking down at the dark, ground coffee, I begin to pour. The coffee blooms. I pour just a little and wait for the coffee to breathe. In the meantime, I recite my mantra. I pour the water again. I raise my arm high to pour. This lengthens the stream of water, allowing it to cool as it descends. And driven by the force of the water falling from a height, the coffee grounds dance about in the water. Whether I extract it in one continuous pour or two varies from day to day. Just like everything else. Once the clear water takes on the color of coffee, I cannot help but wonder about the history of coffee and who on earth created such a flavor. The first sip is always a novel experience. Within this familiar routine, I can feel the beginning of a new day. Coffee! Coffee!

I suppose I am living through today as well!